if you love me, my heart and feet will dance

Casablanca, mon amor

I realise he was very important to the Resistance, and the Resistance was very important when it came to the defeat of the Nazis, but in my opinion, Victor Laszlo ruined EVERYTHING.

We'll always have Paris is a lovely sentiment, Rick, but you can't love a memory! You can't, I tell you!

So thanks Laszlo. You and your ideas and your strength on the face of the Third Reich stopped two soulmates finding eternal happiness. I hope you're proud of yourself.

Here's looking at you, fuckwit.

tbh

To be honest, I've been thinking a lot about being honest and to be perfectly honest, being honest it a lot like a meteor that sails across the sky then falls swiftly to earth. A bit like the airplane engine part that falls out of the sky in Donnie Darko, except instead of one small metal piece obeying nature's forces, it's a huge rock, and instead of falling through a roof it falls on your entire hometown. It seems awesome for the first few seconds then you realise the gravity (get it?!) of the situation and it destroys everything before you can stop it. Not that you can stop it. Meteors, like the truth, seemingly come from nowhere, but when they do arrive, they cause all sorts of large and messy problems.

I am really enjoying this metaphor, so I will continue.

Let's imagine my state of mind as the wreckage of one such Meteoric Truth Attack. For once I'm not talking about how I've been truthful in the past and it has fucked everything up. I'm talking about how I've been truthful to myself for the first time in what feels like a year and owned up to the fact that I was wrong about some things, very wrong about others, and generally kept myself in the dark perhaps on purpose because I secretly realised how much upset shiny honesty an cause.

This metaphor is exhausted now, but I will say this: the crater that is left now has to be filled with something. I need this year to find out what.

where has Bo Burnham been all my life?

the most important quotations are the ones you post under your Facebook profile picture

"My glass is half-empty: that's not pessimism, that's ambition."

- Catriona MacLeod

memoir #2: the troubadour

Living the dream.

My Fringe ticket total is 37. That month went too quickly. Oh well. Back to the island with one roundabout.

Here it is: The Roundabout.

In other news, hey guess what? I'm still normal. And I'm still in the house. My parents' house to be exact. But in less than a month I will be in my own house. My very own, three-storey, historic, legendary 4-bedroom property with my three she-wolves and I will be preparing for one last year in the place I've come to fondly (or not) refer to as The Bubble. But let's get real.

I am 21 years old, and having just finished not one but two once-in-a-lifetime internships, I still have no idea what I can practically do for a living this time next year. When I say I have no idea what I can"practically do" I mean that I know for a fact that I want to sing and make it my life's occupation, but whether or not this a practical option is another question. My attitude at the moment is "do it and think about it later"; this has been a motto of mine for a long time, as has "what have you got to lose?" and "you only live once", both of which I have got me into a lot of emotional trouble in the past and I am always one for thinking "it will be different next time". It never is. Maybe this recklessness is a good thing? You have to be just a little bit crazy to want a Bohemian lifestyle of uncertainty and shared bathroom facilities. As long as such a lifestyle comes with a stage, an after-party and an 8-hour sleep, it's definitely for me.

Till I can live that troubadour dream, I can stare at a suitcase that appears to have exploded; clothes are spilling out of that bad boy like the pink ooze that comes out of the tap in Ghostbusters 2. It's not pretty. My pub shift begins in T-123 minutes and I hope that The Box plays some good tunes tonight. (It's tag line is "All The Hits All The Time" and it had better live up to this promise. After a month of culture all I want to hear is Justin Beiber and Dizzee.) In my musically-overactive brain, I have plans to re-imagine some Bon Iver and La Roux tracks, an interesting combo, though I'm not brave enough for a mash-up just yet. I'll wait till Soul Food reunite till I get back into that mode of thinking. I'm still secretly hoping for that Don't Upset The Rhythm/Funky Town medley to happen.