I'm mainstream and I don't care who knows

The Lonely Island make a fair point. Hilarious, stupid and mildy offensive, but fair nonetheless. Nobody is normal. Normality is a mask, a mutable concept. I tell myself this to make myself feel better when I feel abnormal, which is bad, or too normal, which is worse. Nobody wants to be average yet somehow after all these years of trying to be the opposite I find myself decidedly and unashamedly beige. Quoting Will Farrel movies, Gavin & Stacey, The Lonely Island and X Factor judges makes up 55% of my humour. Saying "your mum" and "that's what she said" makes up the other 45%. I use abbrevations in everyday speech. This is obv ok. Soz if you don't agree, lol if you do. I've tried to like Radiohead and African music, yet I love Britney and Lady Gaga, while I truly believe that Joe McElderry should have been Christmas Number 1; whoever bought the RATM single is, officially, an ass-wipe. The word "alternative" only applies to me when describing my drinking habits. For example: "Once the wine/vodka/sloe gin was finished, pimms/ sherry/ my gran's Napoleon Brandy was the only alternative." With this in mind, the normal girl thinks it is ok to stay in on a Friday/ Saturday night as long as there is wine. And there will always be wine. Copious volumes of in the fridge or under the sink. Finding my favourite Chardonnay at sale price in Tesco makes me pee a little with excitement. (I understand that this may not be "normal", but let me reiterate my point that normality is mutable). I've tried to cultivate passions for politics, saving whales, films with subtitles, spicy food and The Guardian. Despite this, I instead read The Sun, without a hint of irony. The Dear Dierdre page is my essential after-breakfast reading and that cute picture of the doormouse curled in a rose bud on page 3 of The Daily Mail made my day. Nelson Mandela is not my hero. Neither is Obama. My hero is Keyboard Cat. I've also made many concious efforts to save my money for travelling, flat deposits when I graduate and buying furniture but somehow a few cocktails at the West Port on a weeknight and those ridicuouls heels from TKMaxx seem like much better uses of my cash. I still care about politics, saving whales and life after graduation, but I live my life according to what happens in it immediately, making average choices in the moment to make life more than average. I've had some above-average times in those ridicuous heels, and in the West Port too. And that's ok. Normality is mutable. For now.